Motherhood; I feel like my life is crazy...
I feel like my life is crazy...
and I have absolutely no time to myself and I feel like I'm losing my mind ALL. THE. TIME. I feel like my life is crazy! So, this is the PERFECT time to start making life changes or do something for my personal growth, right?!?
YES!
If you are a busy mom, it can be easy to get swallowed up by motherhood and feel like you are losing yourself (or going crazy!) You may feel like you are treading water and barely keeping your head above. But guess what, it doesn't get better unless you make it better. The only way to stop feeling like you are slowly losing your self-identity is to take actionable steps to finding yourself.
A recent lesson I learned is that you WON'T have any time to yourself UNLESS...
Showering after 10 pm? Normal. Unless you have days where you don't shower at all, either due to not having 5 minutes to yourself or from sheer exhaustion when you do have those 5 minutes. Putting on makeup and doing your hair? You're joking, right?
My life used to look like that. I had this idea in my head that my children's needs always came before mine.
Then I realized, you have to put yourself first once in a while and that is OK! It is OK to put your kids in childcare at the gym so you can have a shower by yourself. It is OK to ask a grandparent or friend to watch your kids for 30 minutes so you can just have a hot minute to yourself. It is OK to put your child in front of a screen for 30 minutes while you take a moment for yourself!
When you start making time for yourself you will feel like yourself. Even if it is only 10 minutes each day.
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When is the last time you felt like yourself (as opposed to "just a mom")?
Ask yourself this question. If you are struggling with the answer, then take a look at this list and choose a few action steps you can start taking now to make changes in your life. While you might be the best mom ever, you are not only a mom. You need to nurture yourself as a person as well.
10 Ways to take action in your life to start nurturing yourself:
Wake up 20-30 minutes before your children and have a cup of coffee or tea all by yourself. Let your mind wander, dream, or stretch itself.
Shower each day. This may sound small, but water can be refreshing and cleansing to your soul as well as to your body.
Start a new book or a begin writing in a journal. Even if you only have 10 minutes each day, it is still going to help! If you need a little inspiration, check out 26 Bullet Journal Self-Care Page Ideas You Should Try by HappyNiftyLife.com for a great compilation of journaling ideas.
Schedule in "date-night" with your partner or a Girl's Night Out that occurs regularly. If you can't find a way to fit this in weekly, then biweekly or monthly can still have the same positive effect.
Add a bit of color or sparkle to your day. Don some pretty earrings, or tie a colorful scarf around your neck, or apply some bright lipstick. It doesn't really matter what it is as long as it brings out a little smile on your face and makes you remember, "yeah, I am beautiful!"
Book a pedicure, manicure, haircut or personal care appointment that you haven't found time for lately but makes you feel pampered. Yes, you have to make the time. Schedule it on the calendar!
Sign-up for a class or workshop. It can be just a single class or on-going as long as it stimulates you in a topic you are interested in.
Join a sports team, music ensemble or craft group. Think back to your childhood and try and remember an activity that made you joyous. Now find that activity for adults! Yes, they have 'Soccer for Over 30' or 'Masters Swim' or 'Oldtime Stringband' (I can't believe they call it that!). My point is, you can find something if you look. You may be surprised at how much you missed it!
Plan time outdoors by yourself. Nature has a magical way of bringing out the best in us. You may already spend plenty of time outdoors with your children but it is not the same! Take a walk, sit under a shady tree, or do some gardening alone. This doesn't mean every day, but grant yourself a small amount of serenity on a regular basis. You will be amazed at how powerful this is!
Listen to music. No, not your kids' music. YOUR music! The music that you may not play anymore because it has "bad words" or your kids "don't like it". Have a 5-minute dance party by yourself or relax with a glass of wine while you let the music move you.
It is important as a mom to remember what made you tick before children, what your interests, goals, and dreams were (and are). We give so much of ourselves to our children but what makes us great moms and role models is working towards accomplishing our goals and dreams (and hopefully retaining our sanity in the process).
So, are you missing a certain level of intellectual stimulation that sounding out three letter words to your toddler just doesn't satisfy? Challenge yourself, awaken your dreans, and reclaim a sliver of your individuality by taking action today. What step will you take to make time for yourself?
You got this.
If you want to read more like this post, check out This is what happened when I poured my coffee this morning and How saying 'No' can be the best gift to yourself.
